Act casual...but....IT'S ALMOST HERE!!!!

Way, way back on February 22nd, I wrote about the rumor that was floating around cyberspace which stated Conan O'Brien might possibly take his show on the road. You remember February, don't you? Sure ya do....think back to the half-eaten box of Valentine's candy stashed under your pillow, the chill of winter, the premiere of Cop Out... So much has changed since then. Like it is Spring now. I am sure Cop Out will be on DVD by the end of this week. And Conan not only announced his tour, but he sold out most of the shows the very same day. And as I type this late on the evening of April 6th, the date for the first stop on the tour is only six days away!

Six days!!!! I actually just peed my pants a little....

I have been trying to think of an event to which I could compare this feeling of impending awesomeness, and so far I have come up short. It is unlike buying tickets for any other random show....this is a first time, possibly ONLY time kind of deal. The content of said show is heretofore unknown (except to insiders like Bley, and that bastard's not talking!) Not to mention for over an entire month his fans thought that it might be September or longer before we could see our beloved funnyman in action. Now, he's coming to us and he's coming SOON! Yikes! (What am I going to wear??)

So, it's not just a show, it's an honest to God life-altering event. Like what, like Prom? Okay, yeah, you have to buy tickets and anticipate its arrival for quite a long time, but you don't need to spend way too much on clothes and flowers and it probably won't turn out to be the suckiest night of anyone's life. Like a wedding?? Weddings have nasty local bands and cheap beer. This promises to be a night of quality entertainment, and I am sure the beer I'll be sneaking in will be top notch. Like having a baby? It had BETTER the hell not be like having a baby! That "magical event" is messy and painful and I can't drink for like 18 months! Hells to the no!!

At the risk of sounding sacrilegious, the closest thing I can think of is like some sort of Rapture, wherein true believers experience the return of their long-awaited and beloved divine being . Except without the whole "end of days" drama, and with better seating. And no lasting effect on one's soul except the memories of a truly amazing night. Reading this idea over, however, I fear it sounds a little overblown...Even I realize Conan is no Jesus Christ. Jesus hasn't harnessed the power of Twitter yet.

So how exactly does one describe what it feels like to know that Conan will shortly be accessible to his multitudes of fans who have been sadly counting the days without him? I don't know if it can really be done, but I'll try....It is part giddiness, part pride, part orgasm, part nausea, all rolled up into a big ol' ball of OH MY GOD!! ....Set to music and lit by professionals.

Sounds pretty good, eh? I wonder what kinds of words are used to describe a night of "comedy" *cough* with Jay Leno? Oh, I remember..... Free Buffet.....

(editors note: Before publishing, the date clicked over to April 7th, making the first concert date technically 5 days away......Somebody hold me!)