There is no gift card for THIS, I'll betcha...

Most writers are incredibly egotistical at the base level, and eventually the writing circles back to their favorite topic - themselves. I would hope that my egotism isn't so very obvious, but I do have to admit that today my subject closely relates to me. You see, in just about 25 hours (give or take) I will turn 40 years old. This is one of those "big" birthdays, the ones that cause friends to remark and tease and eventually become sentimental and unbearable. Mostly they want to make a person feel loved while at the same time feeling old. I myself don't feel old at all. So that just makes my friends work all the harder.....the brutes! Ha!
What I do love about birthdays is when folks ask "What do you want as a gift this year?" Most years I have something simple at the ready - a little this-or-that which I would like to have but just never bought for myself. Other years it is trickier, and I answer honestly that I really don't want or need anything....I am happy with what I have. On these milestone birthdays, however, I feel the need to dig deeper than a new robe or a DVD, or complacency.... I think of these celebrations as being the ones that mark our place in the universe. There should be true meaning and purpose to the wishes we make on such a day; they should reflect what we have learned on the journey, and give some clue as to where we intend to go from here. This year, more than any other, I know exactly what my wish for myself and my world will be. What I want is kindness. Seriously.
The now oft-quoted words that Conan O'Brien spoke at the end of his last Tonight Show resonated with many, many people - including myself. But more than just inspiring me, it helped me to put to words what I have been feeling for some time but couldn't quite explain: This world can be harsh and mean and unfair, and there are plenty of people out there who will tell you to accept it, to grow up, that is just the way things are. For many years I had accepted it. Why try and change human nature, I wondered? But now I have been living on this earth for enough years that I realize that human nature is NOT cynical and cold and selfish unless we allow it to be. Just because many numbers of people say that it is a justifiable way to live, that doesn't mean that we have to accept it. There have been times in history when society had allowed behaviors that today, when we look back on them, cause us to shudder. In hindsight we see that mass beliefs often dominated, but there were those in the minority, those who knew deep down that wrong is wrong no matter the circumstances. And over time, their voices were heard, and the Many were shown the error of their ways. They eventually shifted their belief systems of right and wrong, and allowed history to tell the tale of their folly.
In modern time, the Many will tell you that it is okay to hurt others to get ahead, because "everybody does it." You will hear that it is fine to lie or cheat or steal because if you don't, someone else will. You might even be told that an idea isn't wrong if you can get enough people to go along with it. And we certainly aren't wanting for examples of those who have lived the clawing-and-back-stabbing life and profited from it. But we are amazing creatures, we humans - we have the capacity to feel emotions on a multitude of levels. And on one of our most basic, most primal levels, we can tell the difference between wrong and right. Our more complicated layers of consciousness can get muddled with arguments, justifications, and rationalizations, but deep in our gut we can't be swayed - right is right is right. And if that is your compass, if you follow that deep-down feeling of doing what is truly the kind and fine and right thing, you can't get lost. You won't always win, but you simply cannot lose.
I know this is all heavy handed and full of cliches, but I guess what I am trying to say in way too many words is this: For my birthday, I want the impossible - I want a world where people are kind, and honest, and they do the right thing and admit it when they mess up. Since I can't have that, I am very glad to know that there are people like Conan O'Brien, living in the public eye and doing what most "famous" people choose not to do - the right thing. For all that it cost him, he is SO much the richer....and I'll bet he can sleep at night. Good for him, I say, and good for all of us.....