In every family, there usually comes a time when philosophies diverge and moral compasses do not point to the same magnetic North. Be it religion, politics, or general principal, one set of ideals never really stands identical to any other. In our large "I'm With Coco" family, we have almost a million people sharing one love (Conan, natch) but as would be expected, there are also almost a million ways of seeing this great world of ours. And just like in any other family, we sometimes can't help but express ourselves in ways that cannot possibly keep the whole family happy. It is disfunction on the scale of the entire population of San Jose, CA.
I think the distinct divisor in our family dynamic, if I had to name one, is that while we all agree on our love for our "hero," he came with a built-in nemesis, an antagonist in our little tale. Imagine a big-chinned meanie tying damsels to train tracks whilst Conan sweeps in to save the lovely ladies - all without mussing one hair on his head! Where we the Coco-Nuts differ is just how to handle our relationship with the "bad guy." Many, those with a strong sense of decency and maturity, have declared this person to be a non-entity, not worth their time to acknowledge or disclaim. I envy this strength and integrity. I would love to be able to take the high road, and keep all that mud off my boots. That viewpoint reflects the stuff that makes up a good person - the kind who help the elderly across the street and don't cheat on their taxes. I am sure these folks are going to heaven. I hope they send me a postcard so I can see what it is like.
Because you see, I belong to the part of the family who just can't leave well enough alone. We try to be good, we really do, but MAN - the opportunities for satisfying self-expression are just too plentiful. WHY does it feel so good to pursue the villain? WHY oh why is it gratifying to skewer his carcass and roast it slowly over the embers of spite?? The jokes come easy, the sarcasm drips deliciously over tongue and page. Oh curse you, dear Universe, for making this particular yard dog so easy to kick, for leaving this tasty fruit so low and easy to pick....(Another rhyme, blame Dr. Seuss and his birthday week) I am not on the high road. I am no where near the high road. I missed the turnoff about six weeks ago and now I am up to my ass in mud, donkey crap, and sticks and stones. I have no one to blame but myself.... I could be good, I could be kind, I could ignore the slow dog and the low fruit and turn my head toward the heavens and announce "I am better than this! I have those attributes from which fine people are made...." Instead, I spend way too much time on Google, looking for synonyms for "idiot." There are a lot. I intend to use them all. Now, if you will just steer me toward the nearest rack of asbestos underwear, I need to start preparing for eternity and stuff.....
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